Conversion
by The Wandering Swordsman
Summary: *Mentions of SPOILER chapter 604* The author's interpretation of the Caribou's gasp in chapter 604, page 8. Unrequited Sanji-Zoro, Luffy-Zoro, and Caribou-Zoro. Neutral!Zoro.


**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.**

Caribou glanced about the whole Thousand Sunny while his whole body was shaking in fear. This was the famous Monkey D. Luffy's pirate crew and he was the only one who made it inside. Of course, he was quickly tied up by the gigantic robot and he sat on the lawn submissively. There was no way he was able to fight the whole crew by himself!

"So," Suddenly, Caribou heard a gentle, handsome voice, "You were saying you were going to beat us or something?" He raised his heard and his breath was caught in his throat. The voice belonged to no other than the Ex Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro.

_R-Roronoa-!_

He suddenly was on his feet and his eerie eyes bored onto Zoro's body. Two years of absence and the man had changed, no drastically but it was noticeable-especially the scar on his left eye. Hearts exploded from Caribou's eyes and drool dripped down his lips and the swordsman involuntarily backed a few feet.

"Roronoa! H-how wonderful it is to see you face to face! M-my, you look much sexier than the WANTED poster!" his voice was like a husky whisper and just hearing it Zoro felt molested.

On hearing that, Monkey D. Luffy and Sanji stepped forward with dark shadows hovering over their faces. The two members of the Monster Trio had veins popping out of their skin.

Without any warning, Luffy raised his fist and knocked Caribou back onto the ground. Blood sputtered from his mouth and nose from the rough impact. Sanji followed suit and kicked the poor pirate around like a soccer ball. The rest of the crew decided to observe the coating of the ship and they wandered off to the other side of the ship. Zoro stayed and watched the idiots.

"Don't stare at my Zoro like that!"

Upon the exclamation, Sanji shot a threatening glare at his captain, "_My Zoro_? Back down Luffy, he's mine!"

"Guys," Zoro slapped a hand over his forehead, "I belong to no one okay." Luffy, Sanji, and Caribou dropped their jaws at the sight of the swordsman in distress and the fight resumed. Poor Caribou was tied up so he was mercilessly beaten by the Monster Duo.

"Stop!" Caribou shouted and the punches and kicks stopped momentarily, "Do you know that I possess an ability from the Devil Fruit?" The two didn't seem to care what kind of ability the pirate had; they seemed to be more interested in seeing his face mashed up in blood. He blabbered on anyway, since the abuse ceased. "I ate the Mud Mud Fruit!"

"So what?" Sanji spat and gave the rookie pirate a hard kick in the face, "Don't you dare make our ship dirty!"

Caribou bent his elbow to raise his hand. The hand lost its shape and turned into a blob. Sanji stared at the distorted hand with a disgusted look and Luffy's eyes glittered. Zoro, who stood a safe distance away from the three idiots, had his hands on his swords.

"My whole body turns into this liquid and when I come close to anyone with this ability, the victim gets stuck in this mud and is dragged down into my body." Caribou dragged his long, slender tongue out and licked his lips, "Imagine that with Roronoa."

A cloud seemed to form above the Monster Duo's heads as the idea formed.

Zoro covered in the mysterious wet slimy stuff and he writhed as he struggled to get himself free. The swordsman chocked and gasped as the thick liquid slithered into his mouth and slopped into his coat. His hands that were desperately reaching for his swords were seized by the mud ability and he was torturously dragged in.

The bubble popped and the cook's lips twisted in a snarl. "H-how dare you make me believe that CaribouxZoro is hot!" He wiped off the tiny river of blood from his nose with his sleeve and struck his foot on Caribou's shin. He felt stupid for listening to the nasty pirate's coax and even dreaming about the pairing? This was total humiliation.

"W-what? That was a trick?" Luffy finally snapped out of his reverie with blood flowing profusely out of both nostrils. "That's mean!"

"You guys look like you liked the pairing."

"No we didn't-Wait, I didn't! Sanji's a pervert so he liked it."

"Look at you! You're hard as a board!"

Zoro was suddenly in the circle with his sword brandished. A small smile glimmered across his lips, but his eyes read 'kill.'

"Who wants to die first?"

**The End**


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